Parent education · Separation & divorce · Markham, Ontario

Children do not have to be caught in the middle.

An eight-session program that teaches separating parents how to lower the conflict rather than pass it on, and gives their lawyers a family justice service they can name.

Founded in 2017 as the Transformative Parenting Program by Joanna M. Shaw, now The Honourable Justice Shaw, and delivered to separating families ever since. The program is now led by Nicolle Kopping-Pavars: same curriculum, same conviction that a family's trajectory can still change.

I'm a referring professional

Where this program answers your duties under the 2021 Divorce Act amendments, and how to refer a client. The information session contains 2 hours of Professionalism Content, accredited by the Law Society of Ontario.

Read the case →

I'm a parent

What the eight sessions cover, what will be asked of you, and what changes when you do the work.

See the program →

For the profession

Since 2021, informing your client is not optional.

The Divorce Act amendments placed duties on parties and on their legal advisers. Parent education is named in the Act's own definition of a family justice service, which makes a program like this one a direct answer to a statutory duty, not a soft suggestion.

Divorce Act, s. 7.2

Protecting children from conflict

"A party to a proceeding under this Act shall, to the best of their ability, protect any child of the marriage from conflict arising from the proceeding."

Divorce Act, s. 7.7(2)

The legal adviser's duty

Encourage the client to resolve matters through a family dispute resolution process, unless clearly inappropriate.
Inform the client of family justice services that may assist them.
Inform the client of the parties' duties under the Act.

Divorce Act, s. 2(1)

What counts as a family justice service

Public or private services intended to help persons deal with issues arising from separation or divorce, including parent education to help family members cope with separation or divorce.

Your client has a duty to shield their child from the conflict. You have a duty to tell them where to learn how.

2 hours of Professionalism Content

The information session for professionals is accredited by the Law Society of Ontario and contains 2 hours of Professionalism Content. Come to understand the program well enough to refer a client to it with confidence, and count the time toward your CPD requirement.

The curriculum

Eight sessions, in the order they need to happen.

The sequence is deliberate. Parents cannot negotiate well while they are still holding on, and they cannot let go while anger is running the conversation. Each session builds the ground the next one stands on.

Introduction, Intentions and Dreams

Ground rules, a signed commitment to care, and an honest look at what unmanaged conflict does to a child, alongside the reminder that a parent can change its trajectory.

Neither Fight nor Flight: Managing My Own Anger

Where anger comes from, what it does in the body, and the distorted beliefs underneath it. Parents learn to trace the chain: trigger, belief, feeling, action.

Letting Go or Holding On

Disengaging from the conflict, physically and emotionally. The stages of grief, what forgiveness actually is, and where each parent is stuck.

Plan for Peace or Tug of War

How children end up caught in the middle: loyalty binds, messages passed back and forth, questioning after visits, and what a parent can do instead.

Make It Better or Keep It Bitter

Realignment. Parents stop being spouses and become partners in one shared project. Assumptions, expectations, language, and the refusal to disengage.

Defuse or Light the Fuse

The anatomy of a conflict, and how to prevent one. Hot buttons, the three W's and three P's, and what to do when the fire has already started.

All a Winner or Winner Take All

A working model for reaching agreement: name the problem, exchange and reflect opinions, brainstorm, choose, review, act, re-evaluate.

Co-Parenting Is Forever

Consolidation. The relationship does not end at the final order. It changes shape, and it lasts as long as the children do.

What is asked of parents

This is not a class you sit through.

Parents are asked to look at their own conditioning honestly, and to practise between sessions. The work is theirs; the program provides the tools and holds the room.

Self-reflection

How their own childhood shaped the way they handle conflict now, and what they are passing on without meaning to.

Response over reaction

Stop, Think, Pause, Act. A practised sequence for the moment the phone rings and the old feeling arrives with it.

Leadership of self

Parents are leaders whether or not they see themselves that way. Leadership begins with the self, then extends to everyone around them.

Communication that frees a child

Reflective listening, "I" statements, and language that lets a child love both parents without having to choose.

Letting go and forgiveness

Not for the other parent's sake. Holding on costs the person holding on, and the children who live with them.

Daily practice

Breath, gratitude, journalling, movement. Small rituals that make the rest of it possible on a hard day.

Who leads it

Nicolle Kopping-Pavars

I have practised family law in Ontario since 2008. I also act as counsel for children with the Office of the Children's Lawyer, which means I hear directly from children about what their parents' separation is like for them. Alongside the law, I am a mindfulness instructor and a divorce coach. I bring all of that into the room: a lawyer who knows how the process works, and a teacher who knows what happens to people under stress.

I have always believed that education is the cornerstone of a healthy separation. Families transition; however, what must remain whole and protected through that change are the children. I never wanted my clients or their children to be harmed by the conflict around a separation, or to carry that hurt into the years ahead. That is why I created Mastering Your Separation, a workshop for separating adults that I have run since 2020.

Justice Shaw knew of me and my work, and she offered me the opportunity to continue what she had built. I did not hesitate. This program gives parents what a court process cannot: an understanding of what their children are going through, room to begin their own inner healing, tools to manage their own anger, ways to communicate without escalating, and practical co-parenting skills that keep their children out of the middle. If you are ready for a different way forward, for yourself and for your children, this is where it begins.

At a glance

Family lawyer in Ontario since 2008
Counsel for children, Office of the Children's Lawyer
Mindfulness instructor
Divorce coach
Practising in Markham, Ontario
Leads the Awakened Parenting Program

What it's built on

Grounded work, not good intentions.

The curriculum draws on research in childhood adversity, conflict resolution and grief, and on practitioners whose methods hold up in a courtroom conversation as readily as a living-room one.

Dr. Nadine Burke HarrisHow adverse childhood experiences shape health across a lifetime: the evidence parents find hardest to unhear.
Bill EddyThe EAR response (empathy, attention and respect) for conversations that would otherwise escalate.
Elisabeth Kübler-RossThe stages of grief, used to help a parent locate exactly where they are stuck.
Marshall RosenbergNonviolent communication, and the five chairs framework it inspired.

Practical detail

Dates, format and fees.

Next cohort	Dates to be announced. Join the waitlist and you will hear as soon as the next one is set.
Format	In person
Session length	Eight sessions of two hours each
Materials	Parent workbook, provided.
Facilitator	Nicolle Kopping-Pavars
Information session for professionals	Contains 2 hours of Professionalism Content, accredited by the Law Society of Ontario. Dates to be announced. Join the waitlist to hear about the next session.

Join the waitlist

One parent doing this work changes the whole house.

There is no date set for the next program yet. Leave your details below and Nicolle will be in touch as soon as one is. If you are counsel and would like to refer a client, or attend the information session for lawyers (which contains 2 hours of Professionalism Content, accredited by the Law Society of Ontario), use the same form.